Ra Ra Cinnanna.....

Such a beautiful song.....

rArA cinnanna.

rAgA: cenjuruTi.

Adi tALA.

Annamacharya Kriti

P: rArA cinnanna rArOri cinnavADa rArA muddu lADa rArOri bAlakrSNa rArA (krSNa rArA)

C1: kindi cUpula giligilinci Alamanda golletala mariginci
sandadi valapinci javarAla Ura vindavainayaTTi vEDuka kAdA rArA

2: podalu mATalane goNagucu bhUmi sudatula cikkulu cUrADi
ciduku cetalalane ceNakucu muddu pedda vicavulu cUpina jaNakadA rArA

3: kaliki tanamunane karaginci kATSi celula kagiTanE celagi
lalanA maNiyaina lakki mamma talacuka shrI vEnkaTa nAthuDaina vADa

The Indian LBD

Today was Karthik Poornima and I was wearing a black and gold crepe saree for the morning half. As I was draping it on, I was happy about the ease with which I do a fine job of it and the grace of a beautifully worn saree. Then it struck me, I had the answer to the indian equivalent for LBD (Little Black Dress).

Any fashion mag or for that matter any woman will tell you that an absoulte must-have for a gal is a dress that makes her feel like a million bucks. And in the western hemisphere, this often translates into a little black dress. But that advice hardly works for me - a typical middle class indian girl who prefers ethnic wear to western (and oh boy, I dont have the figure to carry off a LBD too!!).

But hey, what works are beautiful sarees! IMO, a simple black saree - in crepe, mysore silk or georgette can make you feel like a PG3 fashionista. Accessorize right and there you are, ready to rock your man's world!!

Black is such a great color and IMO it suits the indian complexion perfectly. Anyone can wear. Unfortunately, most people here think it is taboo to wear black, especially sarees. But fortunately for me, everyone in my house loves black! Lucky me!!

Hmm....how about some 'black-to-black' shopping? ;)

We Are Family!

My inlaws left for the village for few days along with Paati yesterday and co-incidentally Sathya and me were home after a loong deflating traffic-riddled ride to JP Nagar and back. While it was nice to have the house entirely to ourselves, do things spontaneously, cuddle up as much and whereever, but the feeling that something was missing was always there!

Not that I dont relish or look forward to undivided time with Sathya or get to be the queen of the culinary land, but I guess what makes such moments treasured is that they are not the norm. It is just so much more fun to be with people, especially when you vibe so well with them!

This brings to mind an old conversation from my college days when talking about marriage and mr.right was probably the most loved topic..yeah of course, after clothes and shopping! We were having a discussion about what kind of familial setup would each one of us prefer post-marriage - a nuclear one or a joint family. While it was obvious that we might not have too much of a choice on matters, it was an interesting hypothetical discussion. Anyways, not digressing too much, I said I would prefer a joint family, especially one like those which come in Rajshri movies...sugary sweet, all candy and hearts type.
Who knew then that my dream would actually come true!

Joint family works for me just because the people in it are so yummy good! They make you want to be with them, plan stuff with them and spend time together. I do confess there are occasional rare moments when I do want to have Sathya all to myself or the house to myself, but like I said, they are occasional rare moments. The time spent together makes up....and my family is sweet enough to make sure that we do get our couple-time or my freedom to cook up stuff or put a cushion in a particular angle :)

It is not like we don't have ups and downs in our relationships. There are times when one person's bad mood rubs off the other, I sulk and pout or just give into a bizarre mood swing and am difficult to be with. Such times usually tide over and the relationships get stronger. I truly believe that in the last 5 years what started as a new fragile relationship, now has grown into a young tree whose roots have penetrated deep. And this happened because my new family were open and genuinely loving. They never wanted to see me as this new outside person coming into the family, but rather as someone who belonged with them. When you get so much love, it is difficult not to reciprocate.

Going by my experiences, I would always want and vote for joint families. However, it might not work for all, for it is the people in it who make all the difference!

And it is not their absence that is making my heart go fonder. More than often, it is their presence! :)

unconditional love

Its quite surprising that even after almost 2 full months (see last post), I am still stuck on this topic of unconditional love....its so darn difficult!!
I do have expectations that when I shower so much love on someone, that they will reciprocate in a manner that appeals to me. Why?? Why cannot I accept it the form it comes rather than wanting it in the form of a certain query, guesture or sensitivity to a certain topic.
I read y'day in a book (i think it was 'The Journey' by Dianelle Steele) that relationships are more difficult and sad than human beings themselves. How true!


If it werent for the highs and lows of emotions and the relationship they form, what would keep our lives exciting? It would be a boring cycle of primal instincts like eating and sleeping.

Blind love?

I read this quote today and it struck an immediate chord....
"If we cannot love the person whom we see, how can we love a God whom we cannot see?" - Mother Teresa

So very true! But I do wonder why we are so complex that it is so difficult to love. With love, comes expectation - expectation of affection, attention, feeling to be needed.....
People often say that they can give their life for someone as the way to signify the epitome of their love for someone. But I think the most difficult thing to give isnt life, but unconditional love with absolutley no strings attached. Can we ever do that?

Weekend drive to Chennai and back

We had a beautiful ride to Chennai and back via agraharam last week.
The whole route was full of such beautiful views, rain-clean coconut trees, beautiful fluffy clouds making such dramatic stories in the sky and such a spectacular sunset. Sathya stopped by to get some pics....

There is nothing absolutely nothing that can match nature' beauty. Man can build how many ever wonders through centuries, but a simple sight of fluffy clouds, sparkling water, rocks and green trees make all of them seem so insignificant.

Some photos taken by Sathya....

A great way to spend a weekend - great company, beautiful countryside, nice music, very nice road, a powerful car eating away miles, the buzz of speed and adrenaline ....yu hi chala chal rahi yu hi chala chal!! :)

- weekend of 28th Aug 2010

Invictus

Here is another poem that I really liked when I read it and it has kind of stayed with me always...I especially like the last two lines......

Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley

The Eagle by Alfred Tennyson

I think I studied this poem in Class VIII or so and this poem has remained in the back of my mind always. I think this poem has such powerful imagery associated with it - if you just read it, it is just about an eagle. But again, looking between the lines, it just about the inherent power anyone can have in them......

The Eagle

He clasps the crag with crooked hands;
Close to the sun in lonely lands,
Ringed with the azure world, he stands.

The wrinkled sea beneath him crawls;

He watches from his mountain walls,

And like a thunderbolt he falls

Lone rider

I had never realized until now that I really do like riding my bike (a modest Honda Activa).

Yeah yeah..its quite a pain when stuck in traffic, or in bad roads or when you get caught in sudden showers especially on your way to some place important and above all, all the dust that gets on to your face, hands and legs. But still, the whole act of being in motion on your terms is quite a nice feeling.

One might wonder when you can drive a car, whats so wonderful about a measly two-wheeler? One can be seated ever so comfortably in a car, have the a/c on, turn on the music and zoom away in luxurious bliss while on a bike you have none of those.....

Its not about all of these...I guess for me, its more about the 'me' time. For some weird reason, I seem to think more straight when I am driving. Its like being cocooned in a separate world - me and my bike! Maybe its the fact that I can feel the wind, the motion and hence the whole essence of the journey, or maybe it is just that I drive a bike so infrequently nowadays that it is a novel experience! :)

Irrespective of all of these, I really have been enjoying my rides in the past few days. And now I do understand why many people have biking as a hobby! If not for anything else, drive a car and then drive a bike. A bike does set you free......(and gets you some very easy free falls too!! ;))

With wind in my hair, thoughts running in my head, a bit of road in my soul.....yun hi chalaa chal rahi, yun hi chaala chal...

a loss of perspective

small little things when viewed in the big scheme of things shouldnt matter at all. Who cares for a small pebble when you can see a mountain? But what if the pebble is stuck in shoe?

I might be less than a drop in this vast sea of humanity and just when seeing my lifetime, a year might be such a small time, but the current day is still 24 hours with each hour taking 60 mins to finish and each min takes exactly 60 ticks on my watch to move on.....my confusion then seems to prevail supreme!

What do I want, I know not. I wish I did....but I do know I am searching for something...

Will figure it out soon and then when I look back at this time, I will laugh at my own silliness!

And this post is to remind me of that! :D

A million dollar baby?

the dream is still elusive and far away.....intezaar aur abhi, aur abhi, aur abhi....

Sathya gets admitted tomorrow

So, Sathya is going to get admitted tomorrow for his surgery and I am already a bundle of nerves.

I was far better last time over. Is it because I didnt know what to expect or how much it would hurt. Or is it worse this time as I cannot be with him, take care of him every minute.

I know I am being very selfish here, but the next few days seem like mountains ahead!

A stitch in time...

I got a new sewing machine - Usha Janome Fashion maker!! This was our anniv gift by dear 'ol sathya! Needless to say, I love it!!

Yet to master the nuances and get the required dexterity, but I am on it!

What did I stitch today? Well, I tried fixing amma's torn sari and did a 'patchy' job of it. :)

Being brave

Amma told me that I was brave last time. Was I really or did I just cover up nicely?

It was easy to care for Sathya when he was in front of me; something like keeping my hands busy and mind blank - well, not blank per say but grounded to things that need to be done in the present. But to see him on the stretcher being wheeled away from me, to see him so pale and shivering right after then 7 hour long ordeal - it is so difficult to explain. Can I do it all over again?

In the evenings and night that yawned so long, it was easy to just get up and touch him and re-assure myself that all was well. How will it be this time over?

Like Sathya keeps saying - think of the week ahead, plan for the time when all this is over and behind us, the plans we can make for the times ahead.....I am trying.

I dont want Sathya to see me upset for that upsets him more. Shouldnt it be easier the 2nd time over? Take it from me, it is not. It is like knowing beforehand that you are going to fall and get hurt badly and waiting around for that to happen!!

And then there is a bit of guilt as I am the one pushing him to get this done. Thinking practically, this is the best for us. But I am the one who is putting everyone through this emotional ordeal....

Wish it was next week......

Wierd wierd mood!

Whats with mood swings and bad moods? In such a wierd limbo for the past few days! And the only person who can blow away my grouchiness is dear 'ol Sathya. What will I ever do without him!!!

And to think of it, he is going to under the blade once again....now I know why I am so lost! It will be so much easier to worry and fret, but again my brain is wired wierdly and reacts in its own mysterious ways.

filofax - the need to get organized!

Poor Sathya got the brunt of my 'lost' mood y'day and I realized that its high time I got a bit more organized (well, the 'bit more' is an understatement!!)

When I had quit, I thought I will do wonders with my FREE time and looking back I havent even started on my list.

The list is something like...

a) Lose weight

b) join an art class

c) spend a lot more time on my crafty hobbies

d) Surf for the joy of surfing and not for work! And Blog more!

e) Study more

f) re-format my laptop and get my itunes not to look as confused as it does now.

g) spend more time listening to music

and so on...

And where I am...strengthening my art of procrastination! If it becomes more stronger, I should list it in my list of strengths and not weakness!!

Like some wise guy said, I should do something about procrastination, but thought will do it later!! LOL

Lets see if I can do something about all of these in the coming days......